I’m trying to spell my name out with each entry. After this one, I only have 2 to go, yay me.
Thursday, June 09, 2022
Really, I started my transformation
My version 3.0 is finally starting!
I’ve signed up for a membership at Metroflex Gym and got me self some body-builder trainers…. It’s so cool and I feel so boujie, I gots my own team — not Glam Team but Transformation Team. There’s Paul, the owner of the training side, Cassandra, Luna and Luke. It’s a strange feeling to have these people wait to basically be of service to me, but it’s also nice — and maybe long overdue.
So my transformation will start with only 8 weeks. That’s when I hope most of the changes will hopefully happen, although I will probably go longer. Maybe 12 weeks. Then I can go it alone and maintain, or so I hope.
BUT
I’m still me and will always be. Here’s today’s story:
I trained legs with Cassandra who apparently is the Booty Queen (or Glute Queen in her circles of bodybuilding gods and goddesses) and she made me work SO hard I felt like a horse in training and was sweating like one. So much so that I looked at my arms and THEY WERE GLISTENING. I’ve never had my arms sweat before… I didn’t even know they could, like my nails or eyelids.
Needless to say other parts of me were sweating as well, namely my legs.
I had to pee. So I went to the bathroom and pulled off a seat cover and placed it on the toilet seat. When I finished I got up and of course the paper stuck to my backside, not a first time occurrence. But then this happened: the paper started tearing up a little piece at a time because I was drenched in sweat and it was sooo stuck to my backside. UGH. It got so bad that I had to roll the forsaken paper off my skin and at one point I just stopped and started laughing, because it was ridiculous and funny. I was meant to protect my butt with this flimsy paper I now had to roll off of me.
I came out of the bathroom with freshly scrubbed hands and another dumb story that maybe only I find funny, but at the moment I’m all that matters.
Peace out, y’all
and
be ridiculous,
G
I remembered - Recurring Dream #1
When I was little I had a few recurring dreams and although I don’t remember which came first, the one I remembered today was this one:
A criminal invading our home with the intent to hurt us. But in my dreams I was able to talk to the “baddie” (me and only me) and explain to him why he shouldn’t hurt us. In the end he understood, of course, and became a better person for it. That got me thinking of how I am today. Not much has changed, I still like to “make things better” although I see how it can translate to “I’m always right”.
Again, I’m Tap Dancing In The Grass. I think I’m doing something for good, but to the world I’m maybe being narcissistic — right? I just think that the things I value (the way I find happiness and fulfillment) could apply to everyone, and there’s nothing that makes me happier than making others happy… codependent much? I may be codependent, I may have narcissistic tendencies, but I have good intentions, damnit!! And I also believe that through life experiences and family placement at birth all happened for a reason. I mean, the world needs people who care, who like making others happy, although there should be a limit and one should understand boundaries.
So that’s what I need to work on: understanding boundaries — mine and other people’s. I need to know when to stop and control my passion when I think someone needs me. I need to put my superhero cape away and just be some sort of hero. At least in my own mind.
I’m happy I’m writing, and I hope I can keep it going. It’s helpful and sometimes entertaining since in my adult life I developed the ability to laugh at myself, a quality that avoids us when we’re young…
Later, G