Really, I started my transformation

 My version 3.0 is finally starting!

I’ve signed up for a membership at Metroflex Gym and got me self some body-builder trainers…. It’s so cool and I feel so boujie, I gots my own team — not Glam Team but Transformation Team.  There’s Paul, the owner of the training side, Cassandra, Luna and Luke.  It’s a strange feeling to have these people wait to basically be of service to me, but it’s also nice — and maybe long overdue.

So my transformation will start with only 8 weeks.  That’s when I hope most of the changes will hopefully  happen, although I will probably go longer.  Maybe 12 weeks.  Then I can go it alone and maintain, or so I hope.

BUT

I’m still me and will always be.  Here’s today’s story:

    I trained legs with Cassandra who apparently is the Booty Queen (or Glute Queen in her circles of bodybuilding gods and goddesses) and she made me work SO hard I felt like a horse in training and was sweating like one.  So much so that I looked at my arms and THEY WERE GLISTENING.  I’ve never had my arms sweat before… I didn’t even know they could, like my nails or eyelids.

    Needless to say other parts of me were sweating as well, namely my legs.  

    I had to pee.  So I went to the bathroom and pulled off a seat cover and placed it on the toilet seat.  When I finished I got up and of course the paper stuck to my backside, not a first time occurrence.  But then this happened:  the paper started tearing up a little piece at a time because I was drenched in sweat and it was sooo stuck to my backside.  UGH.  It got so bad that I had to roll the forsaken paper off my skin and at one point I just stopped and started laughing, because it was ridiculous and funny.  I was meant to protect my butt with this flimsy paper I now had to roll off of me. 

    I came out of the bathroom with freshly scrubbed hands and another dumb story that maybe only I find funny, but at the moment I’m all that matters.

Peace out, y’all

and

be ridiculous, 

G